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When someone dies: the first month

A practical guide for families in England and Wales

Before you start

You do not have to do everything at once. Almost nothing here has to happen today.

This guide sets out what comes first, what can wait, and roughly when each thing needs doing. Work through it at whatever pace suits you. Tick things off. Put it down and come back to it.

It covers deaths in England and Wales. There is a section near the end on Scotland, where the rules are different, and a note on Northern Ireland.

Everything here is free. We are a directory of funeral services and we do not charge families for anything. If something is unclear, the phone numbers at the back are answered by people who will talk it through with you.

Download the printable booklet (PDF, 16 pages)

The first few hours

Have the death confirmed

• In a hospital, hospice or care home, the staff arrange this. You do not need to do anything.
• At home, call the person's GP if the death was expected, or NHS 111 out of hours. If the death was unexpected, call 999.

Tell the people who need to know

Close family and friends first. There is no rush on anyone else. Ask one or two people to pass the news on, so you are not making the same call twenty times.

Look for a will and any funeral wishes

Do this before you agree any costs. Look for a will, written funeral wishes, or a pre-paid funeral plan. A plan that turns up after the funeral is arranged is a great deal harder to use.

Common places: a drawer or file at home, with a solicitor, with the bank, or lodged with a funeral director.

Choose a funeral director, when you are ready

You can choose any funeral director you like. You are not obliged to use one that a hospital or care home suggests.

Every funeral director must show you a standard price list. Ask for it, and ask for a written quote before you agree to anything. A good one will not mind being asked.

The first week

Wait for the medical examiner

Since September 2024, every death in England and Wales that is not reported to a coroner is reviewed by a medical examiner before it can be registered. This is normal, and it happens to almost everyone.

A medical examiner is a senior doctor who was not involved in the person's care. Their job is to make sure the cause of death is recorded accurately.

Their office will ring you. They will explain the cause of death in plain terms and ask whether you have any concerns about the care the person received. You can ask them anything. Many families say this call was the first time anyone properly explained what had happened.

You do not have to collect any paperwork. The medical examiner sends the certificate straight to the register office.

Register the death

Register within five days of the medical examiner's office confirming that you can. The register office will contact you, or you can book an appointment yourself.

Take with you, if you have them: the person's NHS number, date and place of birth, last address, occupation, and details of any pension or benefits. Do not worry if some are missing.

Buy several copies of the death certificate while you are there. Banks, pension providers and insurers each want to see one, and copies bought later cost more and take longer. Most families need somewhere between four and ten.

Give the green form to the funeral director

The registrar gives you a certificate for burial or cremation, usually called the green form. The funeral cannot go ahead without it. Hand it to the funeral director as soon as you have it.

Use Tell Us Once

Tell Us Once is a free government service that reports the death to most government departments and your council in one go. The registrar will either do it with you there and then, or give you a reference number.

The reference number only lasts 28 days. Use it.

It tells HM Revenue and Customs, the Department for Work and Pensions, HM Passport Office, the DVLA, your local council, Veterans UK, and several public sector pension schemes.

Tell the bank

Do not use the person's card or online banking after they have died, even for household bills. Tell the bank instead.

Many banks will pay the funeral director's bill directly from the account, even when everything else is frozen. Ask. It saves families finding the money themselves.

If the coroner is involved

Some deaths are reported to a coroner. This does not mean anyone has done anything wrong. It is required where the cause is unknown, where the death was sudden or violent, where it happened during an operation, or where the person had not seen a doctor recently.

The coroner may do nothing more than confirm the cause. Sometimes there is a post-mortem. Occasionally there is an inquest.

A coroner's involvement delays registering the death, and can delay the funeral. The coroner's office will tell you where things stand. If an inquest is opened, they can issue an interim certificate so you can start dealing with the estate without waiting for it to finish.

You can ring the coroner's office and ask how long they expect to take. They are used to the question.

Choosing and paying for the funeral

What it costs

Costs vary a great deal, both by region and by the kind of funeral. A direct cremation with no service is the cheapest option. A traditional funeral with a hearse, limousines and a service costs several times more.

Get more than one quote. Prices for the same thing differ widely between firms in the same town.

The main choices

Direct cremation. The person is cremated with no service and no mourners present, and the ashes are returned to you. Many families then hold a memorial later, at a time and place that suits them. It is the least expensive option by a long way.

Cremation with a service. The most common choice in the UK.

Burial. Usually more expensive than cremation, mainly because of the cost of the grave.

Natural or woodland burial. Burial in woodland or meadow, in a coffin or shroud that breaks down naturally. Graves are usually marked with a tree or a simple marker rather than a headstone, and some sites do not allow markers at all. Ask before you commit.

Help with the cost

Bereavement Support Payment. If your husband, wife, civil partner or partner has died, you may be able to claim. Claim within three months to get the full amount. You can still claim up to 21 months later, but you will get less.

Funeral Expenses Payment. If you receive certain benefits, you may get help towards funeral costs. Claim within six months of the funeral.

Children's Funeral Fund. In England and Wales, burial and cremation fees are not charged for a child under 18. The funeral director claims it, not you.

The DWP Bereavement Service on 0800 151 2012 will check what you can claim in a single call.

The first month: the estate

Dealing with the person's money, property and belongings is called administering the estate. There is no rush in the first fortnight.

You may not need probate at all. If everything was jointly owned with a spouse, or the amounts held are small, many banks will release funds without it. Each bank sets its own limit. Ask them before assuming you need it.

If there is a will, it names an executor. That is the person with the legal right to deal with the estate.

If there is no will, the law decides who inherits and who can act. This is worth taking advice on, particularly if the couple were not married.

Keep a list as you go of everyone you contact and when. You will be asked about it later, and by then you will not remember.

Who Tell Us Once does not cover

You will still need to contact, yourself: banks and building societies; mortgage and insurance providers; gas, electricity, water, phone and broadband; the landlord or housing association; personal and workplace pensions; the person's employer; the GP, dentist and optician; and any subscriptions or memberships.

To stop advertising post arriving in the person's name, register with the Deceased Preference Service. It is free.

If the death was in Scotland

Scotland works differently in several ways.

You have eight days to register, not five, and there is no medical examiner stage in the same form.

The procurator fiscal takes the role that the coroner takes in England and Wales.

Dealing with the estate is called confirmation, not probate.

Funeral Support Payment is the Scottish equivalent of the Funeral Expenses Payment, and is run by Social Security Scotland.

Tell Us Once is available in Scotland and works the same way.

A note on Northern Ireland

Deaths in Northern Ireland are registered within five days. Tell Us Once is not available there, so each organisation has to be contacted separately. The coroner system is broadly similar to England and Wales.

Someone to talk to

Cruse Bereavement Support - 0808 808 1677. Free. Trained bereavement volunteers.

Samaritans - 116 123. Free, any time of day or night, every day of the year.

DWP Bereavement Service - 0800 151 2012. Benefits, pensions, and what you can claim.

Your own GP. If you are not sleeping, or not coping, this is a reasonable thing to go to the doctor about. It is not a fuss.

There is no right way to grieve and no timetable. People who tell you there is are wrong.